on being cheap

I think that when one is hosting cheapness is poor form and in many cases rude.  I'm not saying that a host should go out and spend hundreds of dollars to prepare for a guest or care for a guest once that person arrives, but guests should be made to feel welcome, and yes, sometimes that requires some spending.

My Rules of Hospitality:

The Rule of Family + Guest

If you invite someone (just one person) to join your family for an outing or a meal, you as the hostess should be comfortable with paying for things that come up.  Say, for instance, that a family invites someone to join them at an amusement park.  If this someone is a young single adult (wow, just like me!  but, ha, this situation is mostly hypothetical) then I think it would be polite to offer to pay for everything, actually.  Sure, I would pay for myself in the end, but I would think a family that invited me out and didn't offer to pay would be kind of stingy.  I appreciate the battle of good will here, ha.  That, and doesn't everyone sort of hope that someday their child will be taken in in the same sort of way?  It's general friendliness to act as family to someone who is away from their own.  But say I pay for my ticket - the host family should,  if we all go for ice cream or something, still offer to pay for my ice cream.  It's a pittance, basically, and it shows so much friendliness.

Now, it's all right if a host family in this sort of amusement park scenario doesn't pay for the ticket or the ice cream.  Those are things that aren't offensive to overlook and were anticipated by the guest.  But say that the mom of the family decides that everyone needs to see a special sideshow, and it's going to cost three dollars a person.  She makes her husband pay for their family, and then tells you, "Oh, it's a great opportunity.  And it's just three dollars, not so much."  In this sort of spot you, as the guest, have to pay to go to something you might not even like.  You can't not go because that would cause discomfort, and to not pay would be rude and put pressure on the host family.  It's just three dollars, as she said, so she's right - it's not that much.  But instead of making it seem like a simple thing, that three dollars actually makes it a bigger deal - if it's so cheap, why exclude one person from the whole by asking her to pay for herself?

Note to Readers:  These opinions only apply to the Family + 1 Guest scenario.  Everything is different if it's two peers, or two guest, etc.  So just take this as one set of opinions for one set of circumstances.