absurd

so it's around 8, i haven't had dinner.  i open the fridge.
i see a bag and think, "Oh, are those my eggplants?"
but no, they aren't - the eggplants are in the bottom drawer.  the black bag is full of plums i bought off a guy on the side of the street.  they were so-so fresh - not the sweetest things in the world, and lacking an intense plum flavor.  so i had just abandoned them up there in the "cool shelf" whose actual purpose i have not yet discovered.

anyway, i immediately forgot about my immediate hunger and decided that something had to be done with the plums.  i figured, "Hey, plum freezer jam?"

looked up a recipe - didn't want to really follow it.  it would involve measuring - and i have no measuring utensils aside from teaspoons, and i am actually not sure where those are right at the moment.  so i just guessed myself some plum jam.  spiced, because i had a lot of brown sugar and not a lot of white - and because those plums were so boring when fresh.  my current verdict on the product is that it's really, really sweet -- gah.  i mean, i guess jam just is that way, but i don't know, people.  i'll still find some use for it, regardless of how it tastes once it's set and on toast, ha.  if it's too sweet, i'll just use it as a glaze.  too sour, and i can either add juice and reboil, or just serve it on ice cream, ha.  that's my current plan, at any rate.  ideally, though, i can put it on welsh cakes.  as soon as i get some form of fruit, welsh cakes are happening.

after i finished my jam i remembered the egglplants and my previous hunger.  i tore up an eggplant and tossed it in a pan with a dab of oil.  cooked that while i washed and cut broccoli, which i tossed in after the eggplant along with some garlic once the broccoli got a little brighter in color.  got to watch that garlic or it'll burn, you know.  whipped up a very mild sauce - i didn't want a real stir-fry sauce taste, just something to make things a little more exciting without making me crave rice, ha.  because i don't have rice.  so after that cooked i tossed on some sliced green onions and ate my veggie stir-fry.  it was great, oddly enough?  i guess i just love eggplant.

now i am boiling water for my jam container -- a mug with a lid, haha.  i have a couple jars, but i won't be able to get the jam out of them if i use them, ha.  so.  since it's just freezer jam (or, in my case, fridge jam) in a small quantity, i figure one or two lidded mugs should be enough since i plan on consuming this stuff quickly.  we'll see!  why am i bothering with boiling if i know there won't be a seal or anything?  no idea.  it just seems like the morally right thing to do, ha.

p.s.  i still think my fridge isn't cool enough.  i need to buy a real thermometer for that thing - i'm currently using a meat thermometer, but it means absolutely nothing to me, ha.  who knows if it is even accurate at cold temperatures.  again, i think that was a morally justified move and nothing rooted in practicality.

potato salad

as happens whenever i make this potato salad, i have eaten enough to feel vaguely near death, but also as usual, i'm somehow not too upset about it.  the taste is so worth it, hah.

pineapple

I had some pineapple that I'd neglected in the fridge for about ... two weeks.  So I was a little surprised that it still felt firm and looked fine -- it was one of those cored and peeled but not sliced dealios that comes wrapped in way too much plastic.  Anyway, so put that thing on my cutting board, cut a slice, cut a bite from that slice, and --

weird!  fermented pineapple!  like, just alcoholic, it didn't really taste "spoiled" in the usual sense of the word.  super odd!  but also not what i was expecting, or needing, ha - so it's all been trashed.  still.  interesting.

the good thing about korean offices

we can eat cake and make the secretary clean up for us!  score.

pssst, korean teachers

"Tip!  Pointing at me while whispering blows your cover!"
imagine it in the bubbly font that they put on korean products

so i pricked my finger

i pricked my finger when i was digging though my purse the other day.  on what, you ask?

why, fish hooks (fishhooks?) of course.  i found a slew of them (really, maybe 6 or so) on the sidewalk by the bus stop the other day, so of course i picked them up.  tiny little hooks on tiny braided strings.  the hooks are the eyeless sort.  i will post pictures sometime soon.

right now, i have to decide whether or not to stay up until i finish some work, or go directly to sleep and rely on my early morning time to finish things.  i'm nervous about both options. good grief, i will be glad when ... well.  when next thursday rolls around?  yes.  maybe.

i need constant wake-up calls

Ack!  Friends.  Korea is dangerous.  I know - I know that this place is foreign, that the people generally do not think and feel and act as I do or would.  The people are different, the society is different.  It's not a Western country, it's not my country, it's not my state, it's not my home.

But!  Sometimes, when things just keep on moving along, it's easy to forget how essential, how ingrained these differences really are.  I feel as if I'm driving on a long straight road.  I'm used to the scenery, I know where to pull over to get good snacks, etc.  I don't consciously think that everything is fine, but I do consciously think that nothing is really wrong.

It's in that moment of false security that I tend to receive little jolts to my consciousness, ha.  Something unsettling and uncomfortable happens, and then I remember that regardless of how reasonable and safe things may seem over here -- they aren't.  Not for me, anyway.

I'm not talking about physical safety, of course.  I'm thinking more along the lines of mental safety - or emotional security, if you will, ha.  I'm not one to really engage myself too quickly, but I think I do allow myself to make basic assumptions about people much too fast.  I usually decide whether or not I like a person shortly after meeting him or her.  What I need to focus on now is my ability to not act on silly assumptions, ha.

These people, for the most part, do not trust me.  At all.  Some of them trust my honesty, ha, but they don't really trust every aspect of me - and for me, that's problematic.  I've been trusted in every aspect of my personality, my behavior - I've had people accept and rely on the whole package of faith in my person.  So for someone to pick and choose between what I can be trusted with - well, for me, that breaks everything down.  Even if it is possible for them to trust me with money, for instance, if they think that I will behave rudely in some situation, I don't even care if they trust my ability to not steal, ha.

That's just because of the behavior I'm accustomed to experiencing, really.  I do trust other people in that fractured way, ha - but that seems okay to me because it's familiar to my brain.  Say Sally never tells a lie, but you couldn't bet on her making it to one out of ten meetings on time.  If you know these things about people early on, they aren't even really faults to deal with, ha, just quirks.  Or if they are severe enough to be faults, you adjust your expectations and requirements accordingly.  If I had been sanctioned for some failings of character earlier in my life, I think it would be easier for me to accept such sanctions now.  But with no precedent and no justification, I take these sanctions a little more seriously than I should.

It breaks down my trust in the person who has such limited trust in me, really.

But it's good to know this now!  It is not too late, ha.  I can still step back and readjust my mindset.  I'm glad, now, that I haven't disclosed as much about myself as I could have.  I had some doubts before, thinking that perhaps I shouldn't censure my life in trivial matters.  Now, though, I think it's going to have to be sharing on a need to know basis.

I know there are people here that I can relate to more fully than the person that I'm upset with right now, and I'm very thankful for those souls, ha.  It's just this dash of water that has me a bit out of sorts.  And it's good to remember that her case is the rule, not the exception.  I'm a stranger in a strange land, ha, so I should expect to deal with strange things.

PS!

This all sounds so dramatic, ha.  I am fine, ha.  Upset, but fine.  If I told you what happened, you wouldn't see  why it irks me so much.  It's a big sociological pickle.  I'll explain the issue further if you like, but meh, I think that's all I'm going to say on this subject for now.